I gave my teacher this paper and she had this to say — “I am not sure what the

I gave my teacher this paper and she had this to say — “I am not sure what the thesis of your essay is. As written, your draft is much too general. You might well be able to use some of it, but you need to do some rethinking. What particular aspect of culture do you think Kim was most affected by? Pentacostalism? Being a female in a Pentacostal household? Moving from a woods environment to a town environment? Focus primarily on just one of those aspects, and create a few main ideas about it. To develop each main idea, find evidence relevant to it in the memoir. Use relevant research from the pieces you found to support your ideas.”
I am struggling to fix my essay and I would really appreciate some help!
My new thesis statement is — “In the Wilderness” by Kim Barnes, Kim has to overcome the difficulties of growing up as a young woman in a Pentecostal household–more specifically, to meet the expectations of her culture and those around her.”
The whole point of this assignment was to take a critical approach about this memoir, I chose a cultural approach. This can include her difficulties with family, religion, sex etc…
I attached the essay on word, please add 3 outside sources supporting and connecting to the book and cultural approach. Thanks!

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